Situations Every Awkward Person Goes Through

Quick life update: I’m still a bit sick, but I reckon in a few days, life will be completely normal again. I got up earlyish this morning, got my hair cut, came home and read some more of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, baked cakes and did a face mask (all lovely things to make me feel like Jaz again instead of a pile of glob). Now I’m having a quiet Saturday night in to heal my body and get back to tip top condition! 😀

Now I’ve been thinking, there are situations that happen to every socially awkward person at some point and I thought it’d be funny to evaluate them and kinda laugh at myself. I’m such a fail at life!

1. Turning Up First To A Social Gathering – Argh, do I wait outside? Do I sit down? Will I look like a loner? Solution: just pretend to be talking to someone on your phone and try to act cool.

2. Being Left Alone With An Acquaintance – The dreaded small talk. What shall I say that isn’t about my cats doing something hilarious???

3. Hair Cuts – I’m lucky that I’ve now found a hairdresser that’s pretty easy-going so it’s not so much a problem anymore. However, they’re usually a complete mainstream looking, snobby, attractive girl and she’s tugging at my hair and talking about pointless celebrity gossip I have no idea about! Hurry up with the hairdryer so I can’t hear you and I have an excuse not to speak!

4. Shopping – Ok, I love shopping, BUT if I’m in a small shop or at little market stall and I’m just trying to have a browse, the staff stare at you and persistently ask if you if you want any assistance. It’s so awkward that it makes me want to run away!

5. Falling Over – Oh no, it happened. Dang clumsiness! Quick, get up and move away from the scene as graceful as possible.

6. First Dates – I should stay away from dating. The last date I went on, I knocked over an almost full glass of wine over the guy I was on a date with while I was flailing my arms about. Great. Getting to know someone is awkward anyway.

7. Job Interviews – The most terrifying one of all. How do I look? Maybe I should sit differently… I should have powdered my face before this so I didn’t look so sweaty & nervous. Argh, I just can’t deal with the pressure.

All these situations bring disaster for me and I know there are far more I could come up with but I’d be here all night typing! 😛

I’m slowly improving this flaw though. This time last year, I was new to a receptionist job that I was terrible at because I was so shy. Now… it’s not so extreme. Progress!

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