Things I’ve Learnt This Weekend

  • Always pack spare clothes to house parties
  • Pretend you’re drinking while playing Ring of Fire when you feel nauseous
  • Don’t fall asleep first at house parties (your face will be drawn on)
  • Wetherspoons breakfasts make the best cure for a hangover
  • Stretch after exercising (especially when you haven’t done any for months)
  • Younger siblings are usually more talented than you
  • There’s a Shakespeare quote suitable for every situation
  • Don’t browse online shops with a maxed out overdraft
  • Keep tomatoes at room temperature

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